Readjusting My Crown
Pine trees, grass and a whole lot of pollen are some of the perks of springtime in the South. And accompanying the blooming flowers are the dreaded allergies. Just between you and me, I believe they’re agents of the devil
Normally grabbing an over the counter antihistamine does the job in getting rid of the symptoms. But not this time.
The meds were mere light weights compared to my incessant sneezing and stuffy nose. And on a scale from one to ten, my itchy eyes, ears, throat, arms, and hands were a twelve! sigh
I thought I had it bad .... until my scalp became inflamed and formed blisters. The center of my head itched, bled and oozed... I hope you’re not eating
My previous symptoms were nothing compared to this. One, five, ten....fourteen days passed without being able to sleep at night. I prayed, listened to scripture, confessed scriptures on healing and asked my friends to pray. I went to the doctor, the dermatologist and a nutritionist but, I wasn’t getting better. Lord have mercy
Finally, my friend suggested that I go to an allergist. By this time, my arms and hands looked as if they were severely burned. Plus, I was on the second or was it the third steroid eye drop. And my hair well...it felt like a Brillo Pad and had started to disappear. Now I don’t mean just breaking off. I was going bald! I was already physically sick. Loosing my hair made me emotionally ill.
The doctor discovered that there was a long list of things that were causing my reaction. But it seemed that the main culprit was Paraphenylenediamine (PPD) don’t ask me to pronounce it - a chemical found in permanent hair dye. I was using a little rinse to cover up the silver dew that was taking up residence in my hair.
It was a nightmare that had been ongoing for months. I was ready to hear whatever God had to say. so I thought
Eventually, I gathered my courage and got my hair cut. It was short or more like shaved. And I did. not. like. it. So, I did the next natural thing. I got a wig.
And then God dropped a question right on top of me. Why are you hiding what I’m taking you through? whew
The conversation continued .... “Everybody I blessed in scripture, I put their problems on display. David was running from Saul, Mary was pregnant prior to marriage, Joseph was in jail and Daniel was in a lion’s den....so why are you hiding?” And, if that wasn’t enough, the next question came rushing in like a flood. “Why did you put your confidence in something that was temporal?”
Truth moment. I was hiding because I was embarrassed, uncomfortable, had never seen myself without hair. And, I didn’t want to face harsh comments. you know people let the most mindless things fly out of their mouths.
The putting confidence in temporal things part? I guess I had just wandered over into crazy land. Lord thank you for coming to get me
The underlying answer to both questions was pride. Webster describes it as - “a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements; to be especially proud of a particular quality or skill.” “one’s own achievement“??? - I know I knew better
I would have appreciated it if God had gotten my attention in a different way. But, I have to admit that his was way more effective.
My health issues made me vulnerable. They caused me to seek God. And, I became more transparent and open to whatever he wanted to change. While I was readjusting my crown, God was rearranging my heart. - Psalm 139:23-24
God already knew the answers to the questions he was asking. He wanted me to know.
So did my hair grow back? Thankfully it did. But, I decided to keep it short. It's less of a fuss and more importantly, it's a reminder that I went through something but, God brought me out. It's a part of my testimony.
Are you overly consumed with your career, gifts, talents, status, relationships, possessions, friends or family? Is it possible that you’re placing more emphasis on the creation instead of the creator? If the answer is yes, try setting aside some quiet time and allow God to make a few adjustments. I can’t say that you’ll be happy with the process but, you’ll love the outcome.
Your Sister Friend,