Up. Down. Then up again. Excitement and nervousness took turns flinging me around.
I guess it was understandable since I was about to make my first big purchase. I was saving for a new car and my heart was set on a silver two door Toyota Tercel.
A few nights before picking up the car, I had an unusual dream. I was at a car lot as the sun was setting and even though I’d researched a lot of cars, I wasn’t familiar with the one in front of me. And to top things off, it was the only car on the lot.
When we arrived at the dealership, what was supposed have been a simple transaction completely unraveled. The salesman assured me earlier that the car payments were within my budget. When I got there, well....let's just say it was a lot different.
The day was almost over when we found the only car I could afford...a dark grey Chevrolet Nova Hatchback. It was actually under my budget but, it wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t like it. Reluctantly....I bought it.
If gratefulness was on one end of the spectrum, I was running hard in the opposite direction.
The next day the guys at work started making jokes. It made things worst.
One of them asked me to lift the hood so he could look inside. I was surprised when he said, “This is a Toyota!” What??!!!
Even though the outside was a Chevrolet, it was a Toyota on the inside.
In that moment, the dream replayed in my mind and it's meaning became oh so clear. God lovingly showed me ahead of time what he was reserving just for me. But I rejected the gift because, I didn't like the outside. If only I had taken the time to look inside, I wouldn't have cried and complained on the drive home. I would have been thankful...a lot more thankful.
Seeing but not seeing. It isn't uncommon. We have the tendency to be captivated by the outside but, oblivious to what’s inside. The prophet Samuel had the same struggle. Since Eliab was tall and handsome, Samuel thought surely he was the next king. “But the LORD said to Samuel, The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." - I Samuel 16:7
Being willing to see takes us beyond the outside glitter and shine. And, relinquishing what we want gives us the opportunity to embrace what God desires.
My Nova was more spacious than the Tercel, which was perfect for road trips. I drove her to my college graduation, she carried my friends and I to my first speaking engagement and we made several trips to my happy place. the beach
Who knew that purchasing a car would be the catalyst for transforming my prayers? I shifted from “Lord I want..." to "Lord, I want this but, I want what you want more. So, if I’m asking for something that's not right for me, change my heart. And, redirect my desires so they become one with yours."
Maybe this can be your prayer as well.
Your Sister Friend,